“You are my sunshine…”

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray…”

I sang this song to I.L.O when I was pregnant with her and I was now able to see her beautiful face as I sang it to her in person.

They say when the baby sleeps, you sleep. Well, when you give birth in a hospital, apparently, sleep is unheard of. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‘ After being in labor over 42 hours, all I wanted to do WAS sleep but I felt like every doctor would come and check on me or the baby. I even tried to fake sleep one morning as a doctor walked into my room at 7am and all I heard was,

“Good morning! (Fake sleep) Good morning!(she repeated a little louder)” “Ufffff, good morning!”

Lol. I honestly did have the best nurses that took great care of my baby girl and I! When one doctor wanted to keep me on an IV because I wasn’t peeing enough through my catheter, one nurse said she would make sure I drank more liquids and sure enough I did. My legs, at that point, were so swollen because my body was retaining so much water. I just wanted to go home and so 2 days later we were discharged!!

The moment we got home, my mom noticed I.L.O felt pretty warm and, without hesitation, I told my husband to take off his shirt and take off the baby’s clothes to do skin to skin. Now the benefit of skin to skin is that the baby’s body temperature, breathing, and heart rate stabilize. My midwife taught me that. Not long after he did skin to skin her body temperature felt good.

I was given ibuprofen for the pain as I had gotten a C-section. Because of the pain I couldn’t lay completely flat so I ended up laying on the couch, propped up with some pillows. We rolled the bassinet over to the sala (living room) and my husband joined me on the couch. Now this wasn’t a huge couch. I still have no idea how my 5’11 husband didn’t end up with back aches or if he did, he definitely didn’t tell me about it.

That first night was rough!! Imani was up every hour and it didn’t help that I flinched for every sound she made so I would then tap my husband to check on her since he was closest to the bassinet. Side note, God truly outdid himself blessing me with the loving and selfless husband I have! Back to baby! 😊Imani had acid reflux also so any noise she made I was going to check on her. Mind you, I went into labor on a Sunday, gave birth Tuesday and came home Thursday. From Sunday to Tuesday, I was on 4 hours of sleep. Tuesday through Thursday I was up every few hours. Thursday night, every hour. I say all that to say I was so delirious by Friday that I fell asleep with a pillow on my shoulder and half asleep I jumped so hard because the pillow began to slip off my shoulder and for some odd reason I thought it was the baby!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I know I startled my husband and then we both laughed because the baby was safe in his arms.

My mom stated how well we were adjusting to baby girl being home. Mami, my mother, after extending her stay, was now getting ready to leave Saturday. I’ve always cried whenever my mother/father and I parted ways. That’s just how close we were but this ‘see you later’ was different because not only was it me and my husband she was saying it to but her grandaughter as well. You see I’m the only girl amongst two brothers. My older brother had already had 6 but I.L.O was the first grandbaby that didn’t live in the same area, let alone the same state.

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

The months felt like they were flying!! After the first week or so, her night routine was pretty much set and we were sleeping back in our bed. We realized that me having to tap my husband for every noise to check on her that she would just sleep with us because it was just easier to breastfeed this way and I didn’t have to work any ab muscles to check on her. She only woke up once at night and it was usually around 2am. I would wake up to her smacking her lips and I just knew that was the cue to eat. Whenever she was done feeding, I was normally engorged so I would go to the sala and pump then go back to sleep till 7ish.

Most days, in the first couple of months, my husband would come home and ask why the TV wasn’t on. I’d reply that I had simply been staring at the baby most of the day. Her many faces, her baby coos, her sneezes and chuckles just kept me mesmerized!! Things were not all cupcakes and rainbows but I kept reminding myself of the moments I prayed for this. When women complained that their baby was fussy, in my tears, I thanked God I had a fussy baby to care for. When women complained that their baby had poop up their back, I chuckled and sighed and thanked God I had a baby to change.

There were ‘smooth sailing’ moments and there were ‘what could possibly be wrong’ moments! Can it be frustrating? ABSOLUTELY! But before venting on social media, vent in prayer and if that’s not your cup of tea then vent to a fellow momma because there may be that one person that wishes she could experience your frustration but may be struggling to conceive her own child.

You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away

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